Monthly Archives: August 2018

Questions About Relationships

Figuring out what sort of questions about relationships you need to check with can really be trickier than it sounds. They would sound like direct issues with clear-cut answers but when you were to prevent and look at your solution thoroughly, you might realize you’ll find a lot more than one solution to answer them. Usually, no single answer can satisfy everyone needs within our planet earth.

It might not be simple to request these concerns because it signifies there’s a problem so both of you ought to confront them. It is very normal for people to prevent facing problems that could possibly be embarrassing or awkward. On the other hand, these problems will some day catch up with us no matter where we are on which country.

There’s a need to deal with these issues and find a strategy to resolve them, mainly in the event if you are the one who have created the problem. You will discover numerous items you’ll need to ask in order to find out much more about your relationship. No matter whether is it the problems you two faced, the approaches to improve the situation or means to win back the love of your partner.

Primarily, you will need to find out what are your objectives in this relationship. What exactly is it that you and your partner want to achieve? Would it be to get kids, and also to have as many of them in order to form your individual soccer team? Or is it to live a simple life along the countryside? While you two strive toward a typical objective, you would surely be clear of what you will need to glimpse out for and how and where to put your efforts and concentration on.

Next, check with what were definitely your most pleasant and memorable occasions. It will provide you with an indication of what your partner is considering, and whenever you compare it to yourself, this would comprehend much more about each other. It highlights for both of you when and where they could best make full use of the moment to satisfy the desires from the other individual.

Abide by it by asking everything you two dislike, in existence and in your relationship. It might be complicated to accept, because it could include your bad behavior and challenges which you would rather not encounter. This could basically be one of many crucial questions you may need to consult since you two would be able to express the things that you are dissatisfied with and what you want your other half to stop. It could, in the extremely least, remind you and your partner on the items you two have to stay clear of in long run.

Then, uncover out anything you two be expecting of this relationship. Do you want your wife to emphasis her consideration on the household chores as you focus on earning a salary? Do you want your husband to spare some time to the children’s development and education? It will be preferable to know what roles anyone with a partner ought to perform as part of your romantic relationship so that you can just channel your energies on specific points while your partner helps you take note of other stuff.

These questions about relationships may possibly seem to be quick to check with and talk about as it would relate to you pertaining to your wishes and desires. While you two truly sit down to discuss, it may possibly turn out being a lot more hard than expected. However, don’t forget that these inquiries are heart-to-heart talks together with your loved, so sincerity do count in assisting you improve your connection.

Books About Relationships

OK, if you are reading this you are looking for books about relationships. This generally means one of two things: either you are having trouble in your current relationship, or you have just had one that ended. More often than not, it is the first one and you are looking for advice on how to repair or enhance the relationship you currently are in.

It should make you feel good to know you are taking the right first step in that you are looking for resources to help out. Any relationship worth keeping is worth working for and looking for information or resources to aid in that regard just makes sense. But let’s take a closer look at what you need to find to actually help you. After all, there are many, many books about relationships out there.

You may have heard the term “book smart vs. street smart.” Many people looking for advice on their relationship will fall into the trap of thinking that just because someone has a degree or fancy letters after their name, they must be an expert. Let me give you an analogy here. The most successful coaches in sports more often than not are ones that have played the game before. They’ve been in the trenches, so-to-speak. Thus, when they share advice with their players, often it is based on practical experience and they know the actions and consequences that will occur as a result.

So following that logic, it is best to find a book written by someone who not only has helped countless others enhance or repair their relationships, but has done so for themselves as well. Someone who has “been there and done that”. So look for an author that offers practical experience.

If you have read some of my articles in the past, you will no doubt have read that taking time for reflection and self evaluation is generally a good thing. But it is not the only thing. Many books you find out there will entirely composed of just this one piece of advice and are not worth the money.

Here is perhaps the best advice I can give you in finding a resource…look for one that offers new and useful information. Not just the heresy you get from your friends, but fresh information that actually works from someone who has applied it.

Finally, look closely at the testimonials that accompany a book you may be looking to purchase. Make sure they come from a wide variety of backgrounds and even a wide variety of locations. You certainly don’t want to buy a book from someone who threw something together and most of their testimonials came from members of their family or small town!

Quotes About Relationships

Relationships are hard work! Whether you’re talking about romantic relationships, sibling relationships, relationships with friends, colleagues and even acquaintances – all these forms of relationships bring with them difficulties, and relationship questions you’d like answering.

Well, I have good news for those of you looking for relationship advice online. There is an ‘easy solution’ to all your relationship woes, and that solution is YOU…

And that’s what this relationship article is going to be about. And, together with 3 quotes about relationships, we’re going to discover how WE – you and I – can improve our relationships by simply improving ourselves, and how we respond to life…

Relationship Quote #1:

“Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person.”
— Wayne Dyer

So let’s start with a basic truism about relationship problems. If we continue to think it’s the other person’s fault our relationship with that person is going to continue being a ‘problem’.

I know that life would be a whole lot easier if this other person (that you’re having relationship problems with) would one day just realise how foolish they’ve been, if they’d just ‘see the light’, and admit that they were wrong; that they’d just change their ways.

But it’s not going to happen any time soon, mainly because it’s just not true. It takes two to Tango, in any relationship. Which means, no matter if a relationship is going well or going badly, it’s both your ‘faults’.

And that’s what Wayne Dyer’s rather succinct quote about relationships reveals.

So STOP, stop looking at what the other person is doing wrong and START, start looking at what you could be doing better. Start looking at the relationship from the other person’s viewpoint – a little bit of empathy goes a very, very long way. Talking of which…

Relationship Quote #2:

“Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement…all success… all achievement in real life grows.”
— Ben Stein

Yes, perhaps the whole point of relationships with others – romantic, or otherwise – is to show us ‘ourselves’, the good bits and the bad.

Of course it never looks like that, when we meet someone that we really do not like, that we argue with furiously. But these are the relationships we should treasure, he said counter-intuitively, because these are the relationships that are trying to reveal to us ‘secrets’ and ‘dark places’ that we’d rather not have revealed.

Relationships challenge us. And if we’re being honest, we know it’s NOT just because the other person is challenging. If we’re being honest – and being honest with yourself, and then with others, is a vital ingredient to having healthy relationships in your life – we know it’s because we have yet more to learn about life, and about ourselves.

That’s what ol’ Ben Stein means with his inspirational quote about relationships.

For when we recognise, then meet, then overcome our relationship challenges, then we grow as human beings, we grow…

Relationship Quote #3:

“The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.”
— Neale Donald Walsch

Hmm, and when we stop looking outwards for help, start looking inwards again, then we can then become strong enough to not need to be in a relationship, then we can begin to enjoy our relationships like we never have before.

Strong, healthy relationships are about being open (vulnerable) to what life (and your relationships) want to bring you. You do not attach yourself to specific outcomes, instead you trust that whatever comes your way you are strong enough to fully embrace.

And then, then you can share your completeness with another, and life truly will feel all that it can be…

Openness, vulnerability, and truly ‘being seen’ – all of these states of being will help anyone, no matter how ‘advanced’ and ‘wise’ they are, have more fulfilling relationships.

What Is Your Real BS About Relationships

What do you really believe about relationships, starting with yourself?

It is widely accepted that about 90% of our belief system (BS) was formed by the age of 7. To know what we really believe about relationships would be critical as it has shaped how we view them today at least to the extend that we have not re-programmed our BS.

The part of our mind that has a goal or desire is not the part that carry’s out the goal. Said another way, the part of our mind that really wants an amazing relationship whether we are single or not, is not the part that ultimately determines and creates that amazing relationship. We can say we really want to improve our relationship(s) and even take steps towards that yet our BS will determine what really happens. Our BS lives in our subconscious mind. Our subconscious mind is also where our inner judge lies.

Think for a moment about your computer and all your files and programs on your computer; many are hidden in folders and you may not see them right away but they are there. Some of the programs are working undetected to give you results. This is akin to the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is very powerful operating systems where approximately 95% of the programs/beliefs we have may be hidden away just like a submerged iceberg or the hidden files on your computer.

How can we learn what our operating system really is in regards to relationships if so much of it is hidden in our subconscious?

Here’s a huge clue to what our true beliefs are about relationships and I know it sounds so simple yet when we grasp this we can begin to transform disempowering beliefs and sometimes rather quickly.

The Clue: look around in your life… what’s working what’s not… where do you have longings or discontent? Wherever things are not as you desire that is where you have a hidden belief about yourself or others that is keeping you from loving courageously… so it’s crucial to uncover this and do a deeper dive to learn more.

When we understand is how powerful mind we think with is and how it works we can begin to change things and take things to a whole new trajectory

In my own marriage, after the fabulous honeymoon period had waned, I had one foot out the door and was not fully committed to my marriage. This did not create a lot of trust between us so say the least! I didn’t understand back then what was driving my thoughts and actions. It was my BS that people couldn’t be trusted and that I had to protect myself by leaving first. Until I uncovered this and re-programmed it our relationship was challenged.

If we want to create an amazing relationship and have the ease and grace that comes with truly connecting with our partner or other loved ones we must be willing to do the deep dive and uncover our BS.

Facts No One Tells You About Relationships

Most of us have many dreams about what relationships will be like or should be like. We’ve lived with these dreams forever, so when the real thing happens, and we find ourselves in a relationship reality can be quite a shock. Some people feel tricked, trapped or like failures. Others do everything under the sun to change their partner, change themselves, or figure out why their marriage is different from the way they thought it would be.

The first step in truly understanding relationships, however, is to realize that what we dream about or imagine, is not necessarily what is going to happen to us. And that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with ourselves or our relationship. It just means that we didn’t know what to truly expect.

Here are six facts that no one ever told you about relationships that is important for you to understand. When you do, you’ll find that many of the tangles loosen and as you relax your relationship can grow naturally.

Number 1) Relationships are not static.

They can, will and must change. No two people stay the same during the course of a life time. Their needs, wishes, and interests vary. It is unreasonable to expect that relationship partners will always grow and change in the same ways, at the same time. This has to be accepted and included in the relationship. It is not necessary for the two of you to always think the same way, like the same things, or be in the same place at the same time. Just because you may have different tastes or interests doesn’t mean that the two of you aren’t in love. For relationships to remain vital and healthy it is necessary to have a core of mutual interests, activities and desires, but, it is also crucial to make room for differences between you. This doesn’t necessarily mean you are growing apart. It may just mean that you are growing, and will have even more love and understanding to bring to your partner in the long run.

Number 2) Romantic feelings of excitement, intoxication and infatuation necessarily wax and wane.

Many people expect to feel “in love” with their partner on a daily basis. By this they mean having romantic feelings of excitement and infatuation, feeling as though they can’t wait to see the person, and miss them if they’re gone. These individuals must learn the crucial difference between loving a partner and being “in love”. Romantic feelings of excitement, intoxication and infatuation necessarily wax and wane. There are times they appear and are very enjoyable -other times they fade into the background. This does not mean something is wrong or that you do not love each other. Love is not based upon fluctuating feelings, but upon a solid foundation of mutual respect, consideration and communication. Although it is wonderful and important to set aside time for romantic time together, the daily on-goingness of life requires a much deeper understanding of what it means to truly love. Love is often tested in the fire, and frequently sacrifice is needed. In order to truly love, one must grow as a person, and that is what relationships are for – to help us grow in our ability to discover what love really is..

Number 3) Love is not dependency.

It’s all right to be who you are, be different from him, have friends and activities of your own. It’s also all right, to give him time with his friends and private space. Love always includes trust of the other, and the knowledge that the more your partner is able to enjoy others, the more he will be able to enjoy being with you. The less you suffocate and possess him, the more he will want to be with you. The less you let him suffocate you, the more you will love him and the more he will respect you. It’s fine to be two, separate, whole people. From that basis, a lot of love can grow.

Number 4) Being angry doesn’t mean you do not love each other.

Some feel that as soon as they are angry with their partner or their partner is angry with them the love has gone out the window. Of course, if anger goes on for too long, or is not dealt with properly, it certainly can erode the quality of a relationship. But being angry is not a sign that he doesn’t love you, or you him. It is simply a sign that it is time for good, open, honest, careful communication to take place. On-going communication is the heart and soul of every good relationship.

When we bottle up our needs and feelings and pretend to be who we are not, then all that has been hidden will explode through anger. But, when we recognize anger, irritation or resentment as it arises, and freely discuss our needs or responses with our partner, not only does the anger diminish, but our relationship grows closer. Take anger as a sign that you are being an opportunity to communicate more and know each other better. Let it make you closer, not further apart.

Number 5) Even though you’re together all the time, you still must make time for one another.

Actually, you must actually carve out more time for each other when you live together. Living together it’s easy to take one another’s presence for granted. But just because the person is there physically, does not necessarily mean you’re sharing quality time. Children, errands, pressures at work and social obligations can create a whir of activity, but not intimate time between the two of you. Carve out intimate time when the two of you are alone. Go some place special. Make time to talk and hug. Make time to have fun alone. This is a wonderful refresher to every marriage and should be done at least weekly.

Number 6) Being together for a long time doesn’t have to take the magic away.

It’s wonderful to have someone at your side, who you share experiences with year after year. There is no way to replace a person who you’ve gone through many years with, sharing common experiences and memories. The sense of continuity and trust that can develop between you is a jewel. It is wonderful to wake up each morning, knowing this person is at your side. As the years pass you know each other better and better, whatever happens you both know there is someone there for you, who understands what you are going through. As our ability to share grows, the burdens of life diminish greatly, and the joys intensify as well.